Them's Fighting Words.

I'm going to come out and say last week, despite some of it being really awesome (Street Fighter Awesome), pretty much sucked. I won't go into the speel of what happen, but little things kept stepping on my good fortune, building up to my firm belief that I have some really backwards luck. I mean it. I think someone's out to get me or something. It made me want to curl up and sleep for a few days, so when I'd wake up it was like nothing had happened, and hey, free sleep.

But that's neither here nor there. I'm going to write about Street Fighter IV. Oh yeah.

I was kind of pissed that it came out a day later than I anticipated, but it seems me pre-ordering it has some quaint advantages. As in I got the special edition no problem. I also got in my joystick controller, which did fine until the joystick stopped registering the left direction altogether. After reading some of the more disparaging things being said about this controller and how Madcatz can't do anything right on the 'Net, I was disheartened. As it turns out, though, I'm actually much better at the game with an Xbox 360 controller. Yup. Bite on that. The downside is that I have to send the broken joystick back. I was hoping for some magic, but as I learned last week with the other crappy stuff that happened, I can't win them all.

The Street Fighter IV "movie," The Ties That Bind, is a 65-minute festival of somebody trying to tell a SF story and pretty much failing to make any sense. And boy, if you thought any of the SF storylines to date were crummy, well, don't expect a jump away from that. Apparently some new shmuck called Seth is running around trying to take over the world and needs fighter DNA to do it, and Ryu is the perfect candidate. But Ryu has pals, and they don't take any crap off this guy. And Crimson Viper is a double agent? What? I'm not going to go deep into it because, sadly, it's just not that good and Capcom doesn't even seem to care at this point about stories. The animation is especially painful, because it looks like they just used key animation and felt no need to lip-synch the dubbing at all. That "ultamate" picture I posted last time looks better. This is a shame because I know Capcom knows better. After the spectacular Animated Movie they did, what, 15 years ago (gratuitous Chun-Li shower scene aside), and a 13-year wait for a proper sequel, and here we have this. And to salt the scrapings, I can only play this on my 360. Bleah.

The animation carries over to the prologue/epilogue scenes in the game, where it's even more obvious they assigned different animators to covers certain characters. All I can say is thank goodness this doesn't have anything to do with the game itself.

Fortunately, the 3D in-game animation is spectacular. I was a bit goosey about the transition, considering how great SFIII's 2D looked, but I am impressed. And it favors the 2D game plane so well I hardly notice it's really 3D. This is where I fell in love with the game, to the point where it still pisses me off like any other SF game.

Seth carries his stupid annoyance over to the game, where he's the obligatory space alien boss or whatever. "Let's give some character a 10-year-old Japanese boy drew on his Trapper Keeper various moves from other characters, but make them a hundred times cheaper. Also, unavoidable Ultra Combo." Yup. Seth is a BITCH, unless you know how to properly beat his ass. As in use a good character. Because I don't remember how many times I had to retry as Guile, but I continued my tradition of inventing curse phrases the whole time. "Fucking Medicine Ball Shitfag" was one.

The new stuff thrown in to the move mix work almost TOO well in this game. The biggest change is the Focus Attack (MP+MK), which can act as a parry, a means of avoiding attacks, a way to just screw with your opponent, or all three. I exploited how silly this was, but I'll admit it's much easier to pull off than the Parry system from SFIII. The Super Meter and Revenge Meter are also derived from standby meters of old, but take on a whole new meaning of strategy. Do I risk getting hit enough to do an Ultra Combo, or just beat his ass?

A lot of whimpering on the 'Net is how lame it is to have to unlock characters in this day and age. I agree with that, but I cannot find any reason to say unlocking all the fighters was a serious pain. It was lengthy, but I liked that I was at least unlocking the crappy movies during the whole thing. Getting Akuma was too easy (Thanks, Sagat!), and getting Gouken required little skill as well (Thanks, Dhalsim!). While I'm tickled they put in the original 12 from SFII in here, my biggest complaint about the roster are some of the choices for the unlockable characters. I'm so sick of seeing these Ryu/Ken wannabes cluttering up my Street Fighter games. Yeah, Sakura and Dan are silly and kind of fun to mess around with, but when they put in Fei Long and Cammy from Super SFII and leave out Dee Jay and T. Hawk, I point the finger at those two and ask "why?" Rose is cool because she's useable in the game, and Gen sucks but he doesn't shoot Hadoukens all over the place. Hell, even Akuma and Gouken are kind of different. At least they didn't rape character select space with some of the trash from SFIII. Yet. If they ever decide to give us downloadable fighters, I'll have to figure out a way to get Xbox Live.

The new characters themselves are meh at best. They stand out with impossibly tragic designs, and have some interesting move sets, but they don't bear any sense of memorability. And after characters like Dudley, Twelve, Necro, and Urien rearing their heads in the last game, I'm not that shocked when a fat man with a ponytail or a lucha libre fighter stumbles on the scene. And speaking of lucha libre, when did those become the necessary character to have in fighting games? I'm shocked Soulcalibur doesn't have one. This is like when they had to have a Bruce Lee in every fighter a decade ago. That said, Fei Long is cool. El Fuerte, notsomuch.

In the end, SFIV is as good if not better than I expected. The game part is traditional Street Fighter goodness, and despite looking like ass the cutscenes are practical since I don't have to read monotone jabberwatsis that earlier games needed because of tech limits. The Challenge Mode will give me some added content until I get pissed at it. And hey, the soundtrack disc isn't half bad, either. This game is goodness cubed.

Bent on homicidal rage, I continued my fighting game addiction when I found out Target was selling Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe for $40. A hearty deal, as I refused to pay full price for an MK game. Unfortunately, I was unaware of Target's ability to sell me an opened box with no game disc inside. This was a bit troublesome to explain to the return service clerk, but all was fixed because all I wanted was to have the game. I'd write in length about MK vs. DC, but sadly it's just not as good as SFIV. It's good in the sense that MK games usually suck balls by today's standards and this one plays well, but c'mon. SFIV beats it hands down. Except that MK vs. DC pretty much hands out achievement points, whereas SFIV runs with the old standby: Japanese games want to crush your spirit with impossible tasks. There's no goddamn way I can beat the game on Hardest with every character. Nuh-uh. I'm not even that good on Medium. I'd be lucky to get even 200 points out of that game. Oh well.

Keep on fighting.

-C.

So It's Come To This: A Street Fighter Clipshow.

Have you ever had one of those times in your life where you tell yourself that you're not going to get worked up over something that has pretty much stayed with you for most of your life if it changes? Or have you been addicted to something passively and when the newest version of that drug hits the market you run around screaming and evacuate assorted things into your pants (or whatever's in front of you if you happen to be pantsless)? Well, that's Street Fighter IV and me in a nutshell.

Some people, even my close friends, act like I've truly lost it with my excitement for this game. But truth be told, the last real Street Fighter game released was way back in 1996, practically when my transition from Sapulpa to Collinville occurred. Of course, what started all of this?

A long time ago, in second grade, my friends Shee Yin and Matt began to rant a great deal about this new video game. I hadn't a clue about what they were talking about, and honestly back then my gaming skills and knowledge were beyond pitiful. I sucked so bad at Super Mario Bros. 3 my mom had to beat it for me. Yeah. So they went on and on about how it was a fighting game and there was a green monster and a fat guy and some chick and these guys that shot fireballs. I wanted to be a part of this magic, but lacked the monetary funds to get a game.

Fortunately, soon afterward I came across this gem at the Reasor's at SW Boulevard:

Gamepro Presents Super Constipated Fighter II Strategy Guide.

Looking back, I cannot imagine what possessed me to like this. Look at that awful Gamepro artwork. Every character has to take a major dump. Anyway, convincing my grandma to buy a book was a better bet than, say, a game. Plus, I could take this to school. Which I did. And the three of us, with the new addition of Nathan, read the hell out of it. All it had were some random combo strategies and, as the cover prominently promises, the 2000 game screens. Along with some really, really bad art.

Wow. Utterly American.

Regardless of the heinous pictures and questionable redeeming value, you couldn't tell a seven-year-old it sucked.

Not long thereafter, I actually managed to own the game. Specifically, Street Fighter II Turbo. Touted as "faster" and giving the world an extra color pallette for each fighter, I said "YAY!" until I realized the cold, hard truth that I sucked balls at this game. On one star difficulty. The now-infamous reviewer in me blamed the SNES controller, but I sucked at most every game I owned in 1993. But that didn't deter me from loving it even more. So much I made it a point to capture it in the form of drawings.

When people ask me how I learned to draw, I tell them I don't know. This picture backs up that amnesiatic answer. I couldn't even spell "ultimate," for shit's sake.

For the next couple years, Street Fighter II and its iterations very well consumed my way of being. Instead of writing meaningful passages in my class-appointed journal, I'd write some half-assed strategy for E. Honda to beat Sagat, or just write down the characters' names over and over again until I had filled my page. I bought the awful GI Joe toys (I learned the odd way how baby-making worked with the Blanka and Ryu figures and my aunt's old Barbie dolls... yep), and some really weird Japanese manga that didn't translate well, some keychains, a purple T-shirt with the bosses on it, and the crappy Jean-Claude Van Damme movie. Perhaps the most bizarre Street Fighter item I got during this phase was awarded to me on my 10th birthday for winning enough tickets at Mr. Gatti's, the cool kids Chuck E. Cheese.

Nathan, Carter, Shee Yin and Matt celebrating prizes and a knockoff Chun-Li doll. I HAD to have that damn thing and I fought hard to get the proper number of tickets.

Sadly, that marked my last hurrah at Sapulpa, and for the most part those guys have disappeared. My love for Street Fighter didn't quite have the same meaning in Collinsville. In eighth grade I got a PS1, and other than Street Fighter Alpha 3 and my ultimate acceptance of Street Fighter III, little was made of my fandom publicly. Fighting game nuts like Cooper couldn't (and still cannot) comprehend 2D fighting mechanics and would sooner fap to good, yet not as memorable games like the Soul Calibur series. For years Street Fighter retained more personal meaning, and because the series hadn't done much it didn't see much light in my public gaming life.

When Street Fighter IV was announced, I nearly came myself. When I caught a glimpse of the screenshots, I was quickly drawn back. 3D graphics? Heresy. But as I saw the game little by little show off its mechanics, still 2D, I began to accept it, "ultamately" loving the idea. That's when it struck me: SFIV is like those old friends coming back from a long journey, saying "Sup?" and then we go on and on about the days of youth. I've quickly returned to my SF whoring, including this: Yes, I bought a damn Street Fighter faceplate AND side decals for my 360. You can say that's stupid. Just don't tell Trigun Kitty. He likes looking at the boobies.

So needless to say, Tuesday can't get here any faster. Which is ironic since that's a rare week where school and work team up to royally screw up my free time. Oh well.

What else do I have to say about Street Fighter, since this the obligatory Street Fighter reminiscence blog? Just some random memories I can't place in a particular timeline.

• I did get to play the original Street Fighter arcade game at a mini-golf course when I went to my sister's wedding in Eureka Springs. Turns out it's a pretty bad game.
• I royally hated the idea of going to college, at TCC, until I saw they had a Street Fighter III: Third Strike arcade at the metro campus. Elena and Makoto FTW.
• I hated M. Bison in SFA3. I'd get mad to the point of spewing obscenities when he'd throw that cheap-ass Psycho Crusher that'd take off about 3/4ths of my health. I didn't beat that game with many people. T. Hawk was one, though, and I don't know why.
• I went to school with Brad Studie, the nephew of Wes Studi, who played Sagat in the Street Fighter movie. Though this is mere allegation.
• Speaking of SFA3, I own pretty much every North American version of the game. Even the GBA one, which honestly isn't terrible. But that's coming from me.
• My first encounter with SFIII was the first version at some run-down outlet mall in Branson. It was in some arcade nestled amongst a Bonanza buffet, an indoor mini-golf course, and some really bad 3D movie room where we had to literally sit on the floor. When I returned to Branson last year, that same mall was still there, flourishing. the restaurant, arcade, and mini-golf remained, but the shitty movie room and, sadly, SFIII did not. I reminisced over a game of mini-golf.
• The first time I played any arcade version of Street Fighter was SFII: Champion Edition at the Sand Springs Cinema 8. This above almost all is my fondest memory of Street Fighter.

I'm not sure if this is something a lot of people will read (especially after my transition to Blogger from Myspace), but I thought I'd write about it before I get SFIV. It seems... appropriate.

-C.

And Then We Will Eat Cake.

A follow-up on the ice storm - it was nothing like the previous, spooky one, and on top of icing up the roads I was granted freedom from half my classes. I hate having wasted my pre-paid shuttle fare, but them's the breaks. By Friday the ice was all but melted away, leaving a feeling of contentment and vehicles needing a good washing.

I'd been on the fence about purchasing games until my precious Street Fighter IV is released (two more weeks! Eee!), but I caved in. Two 360 games caught my attention for odd reasons. I'll go with the one I've pretty much "beat" first.

Scene It: Box Office Smash is... okay, I think I've already lost your attention now. That's alright. I'm not exactly thrilled with myself for buying it. Or getting over 800 achievement points in it in the course of two days. Scene It appeals to the most base of entertainment senses - the game comes with controllers with big, shiny buttons and there are pictures of movies on the box. Some would argue that I might as well buy a Wii, given I can find one, but I hate the Wii so no. And my most viable excuse for purchasing this was that I would like to have at least one four-player game that won't cause everyone to get pissed off at each other. Sort of. Maybe.

The end result of the multiplayer test was mixed at best. I seemed to have broke the game by having played it too damn much by the time my friends played it, but it was somewhat enjoyed by all. If anyone needs some easy (ie: no gaming skills required) achievement points, this isn't a terrible game. You'll just have an uphill battle convincing your friends that this is good.

And thus last night my self-control broke again, and I picked up Skate 2. Mind you, I have never touched the Skate series, but having weaned on the older, better Tony Hawk games, I have some idea how to muddle in skateboarding games. I also have yet to open the shrink wrap on the game because I have had lots of school crap to do to catch up for last week's sabbatical. But I figured what the hell, the last skateboarding game I dabbled in was Tony Hawk Underground 2, and that wasn't exactly the most memorable experience. And I get the idea that this is not one of those games I'm A.) going to get wrapped in and takes over my life, and B.) not Street Fighter IV, so it's a safe purchase. Having looked at the reviews, and wasted my money on wankier games (goddamn Nintendo DS), I could do much worse.

-C.