And thus I am bored. Okay, so I shouldn't be, seeing how it's summer and I should be running around outside and splashing in pools and tanning and drinking pina coladas. But as far as gaming goes, I've been in a rut. It's not that there aren't any good, new games to play - quite the opposite, really. It's that there are too many and they cost too damn much. In fact, my last 360 purchase was a mere $15 for Dark Sector - not terrible, not memorable, still need to beat it - and so adding another $45 to that for one game sounds like rubbish.
But then I started playing Pokemon. That's when I realized I need to do something.
I've come up with a list of games that present potential fun times for me. I only write it down now because I feel as though doing so will make me laugh later on when I'll likely own all these games and will probably be wrong. Let's do this.
1. Prototype.
Pros: Prototype looks as though it is a spiritual successor to the wunder-hit Crackdown, a game with no story and involves running around, leaping rooftops and throwing shit every which way. Add symbiotic powers like arm blades and shapeshifting into pedestrians and I wonder how this game could possibly go wrong.
Cons: Every review I read about this game shits on something about it, and no two reviews read the same. It's like people like this game, but can't help but poo-poo controls. Or graphics. Or story. Or difficulty. This is one of those games where I need to stop letting journalism ruin my childish awe in something that looks so cool. Especially when they cum in their pants over something like Left 4 Dead, which I found fun for about fifteen minutes. Nontheless, these reviews serve as vague warnings, like old wooden signs dictating to no one in particular "No Tresspassing." You can do it and likely get away with it, many times even, but you cannot say they didn't warn you.
2. Ghostbusters.
Pros: Bustin' makes me feel good. And from my understanding, this game is a Ghostbusters fan's wet dream, only a game. Considering that I enjoyed the (now awful) 80's cartoon and recently bought the movies and enjoyed those, it's safe to assume I will enjoy this.
Cons: I run a risk of beating this game too fast. This parallels the situation where one sweet talks the girl into going on the date, buying dinner, buying the movie tickets, sitting through the shitty movie, driving her back to her place, getting lucky, then blowing a load on her stomach before sealing the deal. What I'm trying to say is that $60 is a lot of money for six hours of enjoyment.
3. Red Faction: Guerilla.
Pros: This game fell under my radar. The same folks taking turns pissing on Prototype are circle-jerking around this game, giving it a good-grade bukkake coating. At first, I was like, "Fuck you." Then I watched a video where I found out the same developers of Saints Row 2 made this, and essentially you just run around and smash shit up on Mars. This game now employs three key ingredients for enjoyment: my love for Saints Row 2, my love for smashing, and my hatred of space.
Cons: It could suck and prove my earlier point that gaming journalists and I don't have a bone in common anymore.
4. King of Fighters XII.
Pros: Old-school 2D ass-kickery with shiny graphics. And a week to accumulate monies.
Cons: $60 for what Street Fighter IV could've been if it had stupider characters. One can only hope it isn't that costly.
5. Tekken 6.
Pros: 3D ass-kickery. And nobody can touch Eddy Gordo when he's wearing those Jamaican colors. Also, longer time to accumulate monies.
Cons: Near-guarantee that I will also have to buy a new 360 controller. The one I've had since I got my system is already wearing out, and I don't think it will survive Tekken. No controller does.
6. Rock Band: Beatles.
Pros: I will have plastic drums, and perhaps find out why everybody loves the fucking Beatles so much. I was born 30 years too late to like them.
Cons: The Beatles boner package is a whopping $250, which is right about the part of my thinking about this game where I then think that I do not want this game so much. I pretty much threw this on the list for giggles.
7. Marvel vs. Capcom 2.
Pros: I will have it on my hard drive, and I loves it so much on my Dreamcast.
Cons: Three things: the game looks assy on HD, I don't have Xbox Live, and the last boss blows so hard I had to buy a Game Shark to beat it back when.
And there you have it. I'm sure in a while, I'll have at least one of these games. Then I will write about it, because that is what I do.
-C.
