Holy crap, has it been a while. I almost forgot there was a time where I'd produce drivel about video games and other nerd culture this-n-that for all the Internet to read. I guess I felt it bored people so I must've stopped? Or was I just too damn lazy to write a review of Red Dead Redemption? In any case, here's a rundown of the blank spot in 2010.
The most interesting thing to come out of it was bartending school. Now, some people are going to ask why someone with a Bachelor's degree is turning around and going back to school... for bartending. Especially someone who SWORE OFF ever doing anything school-related ever, ever again. Well, the reasons are thus: One, with the economy pretty much sucking balls, jobs are tough to find, particularly jobs in advertising in Podunk County, Oklahoma. Oh, I could move, but everywhere else sucks as bad as Oklahoma as far as I'm concerned. Even you, Dallas/Fort Worth. Two, I kind of got stuck getting my degree in what it pertained to so that when I started hating it there was no point in going back unless I enjoyed giving OSU more money. And three, well, bartending is pretty cool. So I went for it.
Blue Label is situated on Brookside, the west end of Tulsa. Brookside is basically a mile of Peoria Street that someone decided to sweep up, ridding it of the bums, crackheads, gang members and other ne'er-do-wells. Then they offered the buildings to avant-garde business opportunists and now the entire mile is full of hipsters. Anyway, it's a hell of a lot better going to school on Brookside instead of North Peoria, where OSU is. North Peoria is close to Greenwood, where the infamous Tulsa Race Riots occurred. Being white there isn't exactly frowned upon, and I'm not inherently racist, but there's a haunt of anger looming over North Peoria, like a bad moon. And now I'm wondering why I'm giving history lessons. Blue Label being on Brookside offered one unique plus - it was the perfect opportunity to sample the local cuisine. I'll just say it beat the hell out of Subway.
The school itself only lasted a couple weeks. I have to say I learned more technical material in eight days than I did in one year of college. It helped that I have a natural desire to concoct and mix things together, and now I can put it to practical use. What worried me was the final test, which involved making 12 drinks in less than seven minutes. The passing minimum score was a 90, and that allotted for only one or two mistakes. It was a nerve-wracking nightmare, but I passed it. On my tenth try.
The test was seperated into orders of three drinks, where they usually shared one or two ingredients among each other. On the final try I had done the first three sets near flawless, except I screwed up on an ingredient and there went ten points, so it had to end perfectly. My drinks were, to my knowledge, a Kir, a Bahama Mama, and a Greyhound. These drinks don't exactly share much of anything. So I scrambled. I hit into the Bahama Mama since it had the most and launched it to the bar. The Kir had me flustered because it was a wine drink we never really practiced on, so I threw a garnish in it. Then I paused. "No? That's not right. Well, it's now or never." So I took it out. Garrett, my instructor, showed a sign of panic when I put the garnish in, and relaxed when I removed it, so I was on to something. He was also counting down the seconds left - "Fifteen. Fourteen. Thirteen..." Then... the hell was that third drink he called for? It was a juice drink. It has vodka. Dammit. I threw in grapefruit juice and expected another loss. But Garrett smirked and held his hand out.
"Congrats, man, you did it. You passed." I nearly shit.
With a score of 90 and a time of 6:49, I became the 32nd, 33rd, or 30-something-th graduate of Blue Label. So to my instructors Garrett and Mike and fellow student Anthony, thank you for the opportunity to prove to myself I can do something and put it to use.
Since then I've been generally milling about making drinks for get-togethers. I've yet to get an actual job doing it, but who knows where my career is headed anymore.
And now of course anyone who knows me knows I've got to talk about games. But instead of busting out forty-paragraph reviews, I'll cut to the chase.
The previously mention Red Dead Redemption takes the place of GTA as my sandbox game of choice. It's a westerned-themed game with GTA properties like gunplay, riding horses this way and that, and hunting animals. I have to make a confession - I have a secret boner for westerns. Not that I've ever seen a John Wayne flick, and in fact I thought Shane was the most homosexual nonsense ever recorded, but I do find myself watching a Larry McMurtry series and gelling into a lethargic haze. Red Dead has that style of storytelling mixed with do-whatever gameplay. Also, bears are genuinely frightening. I do have the expansion game, Undead Nightmare, which is Red Dead with zombies (I do, however, have an anti-boner for zombies) that I've yet to sit and play. It has zombie bears, and that's gotta be fucking scary as hell. Zombears.
Just Cause 2 was another post-SSFIV game that I kinda fell in love with. Not because it's really that good; in fact, it's quite mundane and devoid of character. But it was a decent enough "fuck-off" game that I sorely desired to play after GTA IV proved to be too serious to provide nonsensical lack of reprimand for dicking around. And the story is only seven missions long, the rest being random side quests and near-unlimited military bases and towns to take over. After finishing I saw little reason to continue.
One series I'd been questioning was DJ Hero. After getting the game and turntable controller for the black market price of $40 at Toys-R-Us, I knew why I questioned it so... it's fun as hell. Unlike Guitar Hero, which provides teens and substance-abusers a chance to feel hip by playing "My Name Is Jonas" on a Fischer-Price guitar, DJ Hero takes two songs and mashes them together so you can scratch and turn on your Fischer-Price turntable. I sure as hell wasn't going to pay the original retail price of $129.99 (gaw-dayum), so I waited until Activision realized that nobody was going to get a mortgage to buy their damn peripheral-based games anymore and lower the price. So now I've been diddling around on that game and the appropriately-titled sequel, DJ Hero 2.
On the shelf to play are the previously-mentioned Undead Nightmare, as well as Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood. So those should keep me busy... when I'm not trying to get through my Deadwood, Full Metal Panic, Deadliest Catch, Bleach, Fullmetal Alchemist, and Married... With Children DVDs. Oy vey. Plus Marvel vs. Capcom 3 is coming out next month. I originally didn't have such a bent boner for it, but as they've revealed their lineup, I have no choice: Felicia, Deadpool, She-Hulk, X-23... yeah, gonna love it.
There's not much else to say. Hopefully I'll start using this Blogger more frequently, since it's the great outlet for my mind. Salud, friends.
-C.
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